ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
