My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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