she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
