Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
