He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
