It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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