That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
