Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
