i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
