if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
