Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
