and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
