Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
