would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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