Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
