I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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