I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
