i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
