I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
