Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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