and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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