2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
