Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
