Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
