I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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