I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
