omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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