Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
it glows. i had to have it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
