susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
