another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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