You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
