My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
