Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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