giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
