im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
