I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
