Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
