but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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