So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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