i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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