we made out on top of his cat.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
