You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
