NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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