This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
