i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
