But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
