Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
