3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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