well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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