This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
